I’ve figured out what is wrong with the Dallas Cowboys in 2023.

They suffer from split personalities. How else do you explain the Jekyll and Hyde way this season has played out?

At home the Cowboys are 7-0 and have outscored their opponents 279-108.

On the road? They are a poor 3-5 and have been outscored by six points, 172-178.

Three of those losses – Arizona, San Francisco, and Buffalo – they were never in the game.

The two close losses to the Eagles and yesterday against Miami the Cowboys were their own worst enemy.

Tony Pollard doesn’t lower his shoulder and drive into the endzone. He gets brought down with a one-armed tackle instead.

On the next play, Dak Prescott and Hunter Luepke bungled a handoff. Prescott was credited with the fumble but both were at fault on the play.

Luepke powered into the endzone. The football flopped to the ground and the Dolphins recovered.

What should have been seven, or at least three, points did not go up on the board in a 22-20 loss.

Defense Folds In The End

The Cowboys’ defense did a relatively good job containing the Dolphins’ offense.

They held Miami to five field goals and one lone touchdown after a dubious roughing the passer call on Micah Parsons.

Parsons was held throughout the game without drawing a flag we note without further comment.

But after Prescott had hit Brandin Cooks for the go ahead touchdown with a little over three minutes remaining, the defense couldn’t come up with a stop.

Miami stayed ahead of the chains the entire drive before hitting the game winner as time expired.

There Is Good News

Unlike the three blowout losses where it appeared the entire team had called in sick, at least Dallas showed some life.

The Cowboys need to cut down on the critical mistakes on the road and consistently move the ball every drive.

The defense hasn’t forced a turnover since their win over the Eagles at home in Week 14. Their last road turnover was back against Carolina back in Week 11.

Dan Quinn’s unit needs to turn that back around in Dallas’ favor over the next few weeks.

If they can, they should be able to handle the Lions at home next week and the lowly Commanders in D.C. and put pressure on Philadelphia.

A loss to the Giants tonight, the Cardinals next week or against the Giants to end the season – along with Dallas winning out – and the Cowboys win the NFC East and the No. 2 seed.

So, yes, today my friends, we are all Big Blue fans.

Two losses by the 49ers in their last three games with Dallas winning out and the No. 1 seed belongs to the Cowboys.

So, the moral of the story is, yesterday’s loss wasn’t the end of the world. In the words of Douglas Adams: “Don’t panic” and don’t forget your towel.

(And there’s your obligatory sci-fi reference of the week from a sports writer who doubles as a sci-fi author at night.)

By The Numbers

The Cowboys fell to 7-8 overall against the Dolphins – 8-8 if you include the Cowboys’ Super Bowl VI win – all time. They are 3-3 in games played in Miami.

Dallas is now 0-2 against the Dolphins in Week 16 contests and 3-3 against the AFC East overall in Week 16 games.

The Cowboys are now 24-22 overall in Week 16 games and 9-12 on the road.

They host the Lions next week and are 0-2 against Detroit in Week 17 matchups, losing at Detroit in 2001 and again at Texas Stadium in 2006.

Dallas is 13-21 all-time in Week 17 games but they are 7-5 when playing those games at home. The Cowboys won their Week 17 game last year at Tennessee.

If the Cowboys can win their remaining two games, they will finish at 12-5 for the third straight year.

Pluck That Peacock, Roger

Just when you thought Roger Goodell couldn’t sink any lower on NFL fans’ ‘Most Hated’ list, the Commissioner said: “Hold My Beer!”

The NFL decided to have Saturday’s Bills at Chargers game exclusively shown on NBC’s Peacock streaming service. It did not go over well.

The NFL has already shoved Thursday Night games exclusively on Amazon Prime – another subscription service – along with a Black Friday game.

That on top of Apple TV getting Sunday Ticket, another subscription to pay for on top of regular cable, and fans have had it.

Many voiced their displeasure on social media. Some discovered long ago that you could watch the Thursday games for free via Twitch.

Some brave soul on Saturday discovered an online streaming service that streamed the Bills-Chargers online for free. He freely shared his knowledge.

Many took advantage of the early gift. As did I.

Take that, Roger!

Seriously though, the NFL is doing its best to kill the golden goose. Forcing your fan base to juggle multiple subscriptions to watch a game is not sustainable.

And when fans realize that one of the upcoming playoff games will also be exclusive to Peacock, I wouldn’t want to be Roger Goodell.

And if that playoff game involves the Cowboys?

Whew, lad…