Its been nearly 35 years since Jerry Jones purchased the Dallas Cowboys.
It has been 27 seasons since the Cowboys last won a Super Bowl. Or made it to an NFC Championship game for that matter.
Jones will turn 81 next month. Not to be morbid, but his time running the Cowboys is coming to a close, one way or the other.
Sadly, it’s a time many Cowboys’ fans are looking forward to. A time when the Cowboys will have a real general manager.
Not to mention a lot less of the insanity that somehow lingers around Jones’ and his decision-making.
No more shots of Jones on the sidelines or up in the owner’s box as the Cowboys implode during a key game.
“Free at last,” will be the cry heard around the fan base. Only, we may not be.
AI Jerry
As if we didn’t need another reason to dislike the rise of AI – artificial intelligence – in our lives, along comes one anyway.
The Dallas Cowboys have installed a room where you can sit and converse with an AI-driven hologram of Jerry Jones.
I’ll pause as you all join me is a primal scream of sheer terror at the thought. Okay, we all good? Let’s continue.
“Meet Jerry Jones — An Interactive Experience” is a part of the “Owner’s Experience Tour” at AT&T Stadium. It is also an option for a private group tour.
What you get is the chance to sit in a room while an image of Jones — seated in a chair — faces you. Participants can ask the hologram a question and the AI program will generate an answer.
I think we can safely assume the program limits exactly what the AI can say in response. Reportedly, topics that it will respond to are:
- Jones’ early life
- His playing days at Arkansas
- His time as the Cowboys’ owner
Not missing out on a marketing opportunity, a video showcasing the tech includes an initial question: Why did you choose AT&T to be our naming rights partner?
The responses to those topics are probably already in the can. It will be interesting to see what it does with the non-approved questions sure to come.
If I Were In The Room
I’m just onery enough to push the program to the limit. Though I’d avoid a question regarding a certain photo from Jones’ high school days.
I do have one in mind that I would love to compare to the answer I got from the real Jones in 1993 after Emmitt Smith’s first game back following his holdout.
Outside the locker room at Tempe Stadium after Dallas had dispatched the Cardinals, I encountered Jones.
I asked him why it took two losses, risking the defense of the team’s Super Bowl win a few months before, to cave and give Smith all he was asking for.
Especially given that everyone in the world knew Jones was going to pay up.
The answer Jones gave was what you’d expect from an oilfield businessman: All hat and no cattle.
Note: I spent a few years in my youth working in the West Texas oilfields. I’ve met my fair share of Jerry Joneses.
It would be amusing to hear what AI Jerry would say to that same question. I doubt it would match.
Some of the potential questions I’ve been reading related to the new gadget have been equally amusing.
In case you were wondering, the price for the privilege of spending time with AI Jerry runs $55.00.
Endless Jerry Jones
The bad news is, we’ll never really be free of Jerry Jones, will we?
“Welcome to the opening kickoff of the 2108 NFL Season! Be sure to say hello to Jerry Jones on the way out after the game, folks!”
I’ll pause again as you all join me in another primal scream of sheer terror at the thought.
I swear, his AI will be like the Terminator. It can’t be bargained with.
It can’t be reasoned with, doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop… ever.
I wonder if Elon Musk is interested in buying an NFL team…?
